Sunday, November 17, 2013

Sir Dumb and Lady Dumber

I am old. Because I am old, I take naps, and because I have dogs, I take dogs to nap with me. Now, I have
a whole pack of Chihuahuas. The "pack politics" preclude me from taking certain combinations of dogs to nap with me. It's not even possible to put into polite terms the back-biting and petty jealousy among certain members of the pack, which probably approach reality TV levels.

Lady Dumber
Lady Dumber
The two dogs I take the most to nap with me are Tidbit and Zoey, who have a "nap truce" agreement to tolerate each other for the duration of nap time, after which all bets are off. They cuddle together when I am asleep, but don't admit to liking each other during normal business hours.

As part of my nap time ritual, the missus asks me who I am taking, with the reply normally being "just give me Dumb and Dumber." It was she who decided that Tidbit was Dumb and Zoey was Dumber. Tidbit likes to nap. He will wake up from a long nap just to nap with me. It's one of his favorite words, so when he hears me talking about a nap, he comes right out.

Zoey, on the other hand, does not like to be disturbed, and will frown when the missus hands her to me. She is such a princess. In fact, today the missus said "she's such a princess." She is a princess. So I replied with something resembling a British accent: "Well, Sir Dumb and Lady Dumber will be accompanying me to a royal nap."

Sir Dumb
Sir Dumb

Sunday, November 10, 2013

Spot Blocked

"Spot don't play"
Sometimes when one of the dogs goes to jump in our lap, Spot will jump out of nowhere and use what I can only describe as Jiu Jitsu to move her body in such a way that it not only puts her in our lap instead, but launches the other dog into the air.

She usually appears to come out of nowhere and it's like watching a sports play or something. The other dog never sees it coming, either.

When this happens, one of us usually yells "OOOH SPOT BLOCKED"

Sunday, November 3, 2013

Dinner Pizza Cookie Hungry

Most breeds of dog learn the human words you would think they learn. Like "go for a ride" and "here, boy!" Not Chihuahuas. At least not our Chihuahuas. Smokey knew the word 'cookie' before he even knew his own name. In fact, for a while he thought that Cookie was his name. Don't get me wrong, all my dogs are very alert and perceptive. But when I really want the attention of one of my dogs, all I have to do is start rattling off food words.

Tidbit is mad because he knows I am lying!
And because Tidbit is so skinny, we always give him a little bit of human food to try to keep his weight up. So of course, 'Tidbit' is now a food word to the pack. I read somewhere that the average dog has a vocabulary of over 200 words, and I can safely say that about 190 of those words are food related for my Chihuahuas.

Cookie, pizza, delicious, treat, handout, Tidbit, breakfast, lunch, dinner, eat, hungry, yummy, bacon ... the list goes on and on. Some people like the pictures I take of the Chihuahuas. They ask me how I can get them to look so intently at the camera while their dogs happily turn their backs on having their portraits taken.

The answer is easy, to get one of my dogs to look at the camera, I merely chain a bunch of food words together: "Tidbit! pizza good boy dinner!"