Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Moving On

It looks really simple on paper: Figure out where you are, where you want to be, and plot a course from A to B. Then you decide the best path, and you do what it takes to get to where you want to be.

This strategy has worked well in my 48 years, even through some big life changes like getting married, raising kids, buying a house. I thought the kids growing up and downsizing would be a good thing we looked forward to, but with all our medical problems, losing the house, and splitting up, what should have been a great new era in our lives turned out to be not so great.

Where I needed to be and wanted to be didn't change through all this, With my medical problems and getting older I wanted less pressure. More time with family. More time with the animals. And I got all that and then some.

But getting through that transition turned out to be too much for my marriage, and so the era of my life I spent the last 10 years looking forward to so is bittersweet. I'm where I want to be--granted not in the good health I planned to be in--but all things considered I have it much easier than some.

So now I go forward solo with my 4 Chihuahuas in the simple life I've wanted, at least for now. I spent a decade wiggling into a high paying job with a big house and nice cars, and now I'm wiggling into something low overhead, and I'm almost there.

Last night I had a bad dream where the all the servers were down, all the clients were screaming, all the team members were pointing fingers at each other, and the boss was out fishing. Basically just another Monday morning. And then I realized that all I had planned for the day was loading the doggies in the truck and driving to the cabin in Kalama, Washington.

Ty likes to steal Smokey's bed. Ironically it was Smokey who taught him this

I never realized the dread I used to wake up to about the last year of a job I spent 11 years at until it was gone. Now the dread is just the couple minutes until I'm fully awake and realize that I'm debt free and don't answer to anyone. I have Internet and once I have reliable phone service, I can pick up a few steady clients and work from the country.

So this morning once I realized it was just a bad dream, I laughed out loud and spent an extra 20 minutes snuggling with Zoey just because I could. Life 2.0 isn't half bad.

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