Right now I feel more like Neo with a couple numb fingers. But exercising and lifting weights every day for months is finally paying the dividends I knew it would. The mental and physical are dependent on each other, and they reinforce each other. When both are right, the world kind of opens up, and anything is possible.
Spot was an abused puppy mill dog, first rescued, then abused. Years ago when the ex was looking on Craigslist and reading me her story, I could see that "look" on her face. She said "It's OK, we have too many dogs, and we'd basically be paying a large bounty to her abusers. It's OK." Her story affected me, too, and I could see those doe-like green eyes blink-blinking at me, and I said "OK, get her, we'll figure it out."
Now here I am, 7 years later, still trying to make good on that moment and still trying to figure it out. We weren't the magical heroes we were supposed to be, and she isn't the normal dog we were supposed to help her become. Now that I'm in good shape, and there's not hundreds of things coming at me a day, I can finally focus on the health and happiness of myself and my doggies. My life is finally spot-on where I want it.