Sunday, November 15, 2015

The Sweet Spot

Spot definitely seems less anxious and even sweet much of the time. As long as her liver results come back normal in week or so when I take her back in, I think I'm going to keep her on the doggy Prozac regardless of whatever improvements we do or don't see with her. Once the weather gets better, I'm going to try her in a semi-empty park on a week day to start out slowly.

It's hard making the right choices. Putting the health and well being of myself and animals as priority number one isn't as simple as I thought it would be. I could sustain this lifestyle for pretty much my whole life while I grow my business, and put Spot first and not really answer to anyone. But then I take the chance that I'm not yet prepared for many big medical emergencies for my animals.

But if I take a high paying job, yes, I could wave plastic and make any medical bill go away, but I would have much less time with my doggies. It's the same dilemma every parent faces. At least when I raised children, I worked at home most of that time and I could at least be unavailable to them in person. It's also actually a plus being eccentric as a computer genius, so it's not out of the question that a company could let me bring in Ty and/or Smokey into an office setting. I'm open to new avenues of thinking.

My mentor "The Colonel" taught me that you don't get what you deserve in life; you only get what you negotiate for. But sometimes getting everything you want gets you nothing you want, and no amount of shiny replaces the love of a good woman and/or a little dog in your lap. It's great being my age: I know the secrets of life. But right now it's like being the captain of the ship and giving orders to go this way. No, sorry, that way. No, full stop. No, reverse course. I'm the caption of a vessel who has no idea where to sail to. All my familiar landmarks are gone, and I'm in new territory. There's 1,000 ports on my GPS and they all look interesting.

When people ask me for my best career/life advice, I say "Leave your comfort zone behind you and never look back." So, I'm fine "eating my own dog food" as they say, and in some sense I've never really had a comfort zone anyway. I've never defined myself by a relationship, or job, or anything external. But back to being single, debt free, and not tied down to anything, all within about a year, is just a little disorienting I guess. I need to pick a course, and I think I'm close to deciding.

At least I've decided that if I do say "Mongo like shiny object" and take a job slinging code for the man, my dogs would have a full time personal assistant and a trainer. Eventually, I want to buy land in Oregon. But either way, my dogs are my children now, and I don't intend to be an absentee father to them.

So, that's really been on my mind: Finding the sweet spot that keeps Spot sweet.

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