Sometimes I vacillate and want to go back to that life. Today was one of those days. But my life 2.0 is more big-picture (spirtually?) focused, and I think that I want to find a more middle path. Being able to foot a multi-thousand vet bill for my dogs would mean a life mostly without me present. I could accomplish the same thing by finding them homes with rich people.
So I did a mental exercise and looked into my dogs eyes, and tried to visualize what their answer would be, and I have no doubt that faced with a choice of guaranteed health with me gone most of the time , or an uncertain future that involves me always being there for them, they would rather be with me.
A few of my family and friends think I've lost my mind because now that I'm physically able to go back to the life of a six figure income, I should do that. It shouldn't even be a question. Stopping to question it shouldn't happen. The wife would come back, the kids would start talking to me again. But I've changed, and I'm getting older. I look back at the last 20 years and the money in retrospect wasn't worth what I gave up to have it, no matter how much everyone in my life enjoyed the money.
So, the last month or so I've been very introspective. The life I would really like is exactly what I have now but with a little more money. I pay my rent helping my brother out with his brewery, have a few small clients and the outdoor blog is making a little money. Other than for an emergency or sudden vehicle repair, I have everything I want.
There's a middle path somewhere in this sea of opportunity. The new business is like this unfinished sculpture in the living room that I chip away at. Sometimes I spend a few days at a time on it, and sometimes I go a week without doing anything with it. A sculpture is much better when it's not forced. I don't want to create the wrong thing.
Every day I wake up and the first thing I see is Zoey looking at me like I'm the most important thing in her world. It's very rare that I have to shove her aside to jet out to something important. Sometimes I'll lay in bed for an hour petting her and Ty before I get out of bed. I'm going to choose a middle path that doesn't give any of that up. The ability to lay in bed with my honey bunny is worth thousands of dollars to me.
|"Come back to bed, pet"|